Tarbiah Diri Sendiri

what would you feel if you are misunderstood?
i mean, when people just couldn't get IT what you actually mean IT.
seriously, when you are actually saying something,
people take it the wrong way.

although you are actually saying or proposing something nice,
or.. acceptable.

frustrated? angry? disappointed?

frankly speaking,
I feel like crying at that very moment.
I mean, I was meaning something nice, not something bad.
I DONT want to be the bad girl.
I am too, hoping for something better, for happy ending,
for a good finishing.
a crystal clear one.

I may be not enough mature but I am learning too.
cant expect me to be an expertise in one nano-second, aite?

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ha, mai sini aku nak haba' mai satu cerita,
cerita pasal tabiat aku yang sering di salah ertikan.

ceritanya begini, ada seorang sahabat, berkata sesuatu yang membuatkan aku berfikir.
yalah, nak bagi sedar diri kan.
sedang aku berfikir, tiba-tiba ..

"woi, yang hang dok jeling aku tu, pasai apa? hang tak puas hati. haba' mai"

aku pun apa lagi, terpinga-pinga di situ.
kami baru saja bersahabat sewaktu itu. tiba-tiba aku dimarahi.
mana lah tak panik.

"dak aih, bila masa aku jeling kat hang?" aku membela diri.
"aku nampak hang jeling sat tadi." kata si sahabat lagi.

Alhamdulillah, memang betul la, Allah sentiasa bersama pihak yang benar,

"dak aih. itu memang tabiat Abir. dia kalau berfikir, mata dia akan berguling/berpusing ke atas"
sampuk lagi seorang sahabat.

mengikut kajian, apabila seseorang itu menggerakkan matanya ke atas, dia sedang mencipta suatu objek baru.
haa, betu la tu. aku dok berfikir, mencipta suatu fahaman yang baru, biar dia masuk sikit dalam otak aku ni.

aduh, aku terkilan sungguh la tiba-tiba kena marah tang tu.
tapi, si sahabat aku tu, mintak maaf. dia kata dia tak sengaja.
aku pun maafkan dia. biasalah, waktu mula-mula tak kenal.
memang macam-macam cerita.

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so, the point is, before a person explains him/her self, dont judge him/her yet.
wait. waiting.
that is crucial. but once you wait and it never happen, forget it.
maybe what you did understand is what she/he actually means.

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aku ingatkan diri sendiri jugak lah ni,
banyak-banyak kan istighfar.
banyak-banyak kan sabar
banyak-banyak kan baik sangka.

abir, hang jangan dok lupa,
hang jangan melulu attack orang,
hang jangan melulu marah orang,
hang saba' banyak-banyak.

jaga hati kita. toksah lah nak tambah titik hitam lagi.
yang dah ada ni pun susah nak klorok.
takkan hang nak tambah lagi kot?

wallahualam.